


Harry Potter headcanons come to life: with my OCs

by AnOdeToYouth



Series: Jye writes Harry Potter OC series based on headcanons [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Headcanon, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5038876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnOdeToYouth/pseuds/AnOdeToYouth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jye (me) writes a Harry Potter headcanon series with her own OCs, using the headcanons and ideas she comes across on Tumblr and the internet. I will give credit to the original headcanon poster whenever possible. The original characters owned by J.K Rowling do not really appear in these series (and if they do they don't have a significant role), and there is no real significant plot to them (yet). The title of each is basically a summary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And Alex is reminded why he prefers not to associate himself with Finn (or the time the first day of school turned into a musical)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first time posting in AO3 and I have no idea how things work (also I'm in exam period) but I will do my best to get the handle of things here. I have 6 chapters pre-written, and I'm not sure how often I'll update but it'll probably be every two weeks. Also, how do I get people to read these stories I have no idea...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Vipond's time up until his fifth year at Hogwarts.  
> And why the first day of school is usually his worst nightmare. Sort of.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Alex Vipond says to himself as he watches the scene unfolding all around him.

“You better believe it, buddy.” Fionn yells to his redheaded friend from across tables.

Alex isn’t exactly sure how his friend knows what he said, but he’s pretty sure it has something to do with very good lip-reading and knowing Alex’s train of thought really well. But that’s not the point, because at the moment Alex’s sinking in his seat and everyone on the Ravenclaw table is staring at him. And in that moment Alex has never wanted to punch his friend in the face as much as he does now.

It started with Alex’s first day ever at Hogwarts. 

Alex had always been content to be a normal kid. He’d watched action movies on TV about superheroes and journeys to the center of the earth, and read books about ordinary teenagers-turned-demigod-slash-hero, and Alex was jealous of that sort of adventure (he’d always had a yearning for something extraordinary in his life), but he was also pretty sure a life like that was not one for him. He liked his ordinary, average life, which, wasn’t quite so ordinary either, but at least didn’t threaten his life every day. Not directly, anyway. But it was fine, because Alex had learned to appreciate what he had and wanting more had never been a taboo, exactly, but he liked to convince himself that normal was better. 

One lazy day during the summer his father had gone out to retrieve the mail when the grown man gave out a very feminine squeal of delight. Mind you, it wasn’t simply an ‘eek,’ it was a positively stereotypical, misogynistic-girly ‘EEK.’ His father, Mr. Vipond, ran into the house, yelling for both his son and his husband to come quickly, because there was an important announcement to make. Alex had been playing through Black2 on his DS, but whatever, his father called. So both Alex and his other father quickly rushed into the living room, and both fathers poured over the contents of a certain letter, squealing in delight and jumping up and down. One even picked up eleven year-old Alex and twirled him around, positively embarrassing him. Alex was extremely confused, but he was not foreigner to the eccentric theatrics of his fathers, birth father and step father. His sister had inherited the positivity. 

Then both fathers promptly sat down their son on the couch (though they were fidgeting so much Alex wished they’d remained standing), and explained to the young boy that Alex’s life would change forever. Mr. Vipond ran upstairs to the study room to grab a copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, and just for the heck of it grabbed the whole series including Quidditch Through the Ages, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and that toy wand they’d personally carved for Alex when he’d first been introduced to the series (it had remained untouched for several years because dad, I know Harry Potter isn’t real, I don’t need toys, I’m a big boy now.) 

The fathers set out the entire collection on the living room table and after calming themselves down for a bit, began to talk to a Alex who had decided that he had better things to do than pay attention to his ridiculous parents. They began by breaking out the fact that there was magic. The Boy who Lived was real, wizards were real, and the Harry Potter series was all based on fact. Mr. Vipond, Alex’s birth father, explained that he came from a wizard family, mostly pure, but his mother was a muggleborn. She’d accepted it at first, but when their daughter, Alex’s sister, first began to show abnormalities which signaled that Juliette Vipond would be a witch, her mother had only then fully comprehended what she signed up for, and she didn’t really want to be any more part of it when her in-laws demanded that her magical child and her non-magical self be properly introduced to the magical world. Mrs. Vipond, who was fine with taking Juliette in the separation because she was a working mother and Juliette would be in dormitories for most of the year, had said goodbye to her son, divorced her husband, and though she visited Alex frequently, had only come to see his father at his second marriage to another man. 

Then Alex’s parents apologized for keeping it a secret from him, but they could not rule out the possibility that Alex may end up non-magical, and didn’t want him to be disappointed if he did. Also, growing up in muggle culture was very important, because soon muggles would quite possibly out-‘magic’ wizards. Then Mr. and Mr. Vipond handed Alex his acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Alex gave it a quick read-through and set it back on the living room table. 

For an eleven-year-old who’d just been told he could use magic, Alex was quite calm. Too calm. A few seconds of staring ensued, then, Alex smiled.

“Nice joke, dad. Very elaborately planned. Excellent acting.” 

Mr. Vipond threw his hands up into the air and ran into Alex’s room to grab the toy wand that Alex had been given as a child. Then, with it, he levitated the TV, turned the flower vase into a cat, and gave his son cat’s ears. After saying goodbye to his cat ears reluctantly, Alex accepted that he was a wizard. 

“Then why couldn’t I use magic when I used that wand?” the boy asked, and his fathers smiled at him.

“It was precisely for that reason we suspected you might not be magical,” his father explained. “But most recently we took you to a physical checkup to test your magical ability. If you were a wizard, you’d get a letter. If you weren’t, then…you’d be offered a place at a more ‘special’ school.”

Alex nodded. 

Then he turned to his muggle step-father and said, “You’re taking this pretty well.”

His step-father gave Alex a look that said are you kidding me, and rolled his eyes.

“Your father and I met on tumblr. This is more than I could have ever wanted for my son.” he said, and Alex shrugged, accepting that as an explanation.

His fathers took a little more time in getting excited in Alex’s stead, but all the boy could think about was how exactly he was going to survive at a new school. He didn’t have that many friends at his current one, but he had friends anyway, and even as an eleven year-old he thought he’d figured out how to take care of himself throughout his education. But now he was going to be thrown into a new environment, and Alex just couldn’t be happy about that. But when he went to his too for bedtime later, he secretly buried his face into his pillow and flailed in delight. Adventure is coming, his heart told him, fluttering in anticipation. Don’t forget that your life won’t be the same anymore. His brain reminded him with a looming curiosity about the future. I know. It’s okay. He told himself with a smile.

Shortly after the acceptance letter Mrs. Vipond drove Alex’s sister Juliette to his fathers’ house. She didn’t come in for a drink or anything, but instead had Alex sent out to her. She kissed him on his forehead, his nose, his head, his ear, and his cheek, and told him I’m so proud of you. I’m so happy that you’ll be attending such a prestigious wizard school with your sister. Though, I do worry about your safety, because that school is pretty notorious for safety issues. She apologized, I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger for you and your sister, but there are certain adult circumstances you wouldn’t understand. You’re far too young. She reminded him, please study hard, and don’t ever forget your ‘muggle’ side of the family. With one last kiss, I love you, Alex. Stay safe. Then she drove away. Upon seeing him, his sister congratulated him on not turning out to be a squib like she’d figured he was, and Alex sarcastically thanked her. 

Shopping at Diagon Alley ensued soon with both fathers and his sister, and wizards and witches watched amusedly as they saw a grown man and young boy fawning over magical things. Alex, no matter how much he’d tried to play it cool and pretend like he wasn’t absolutely ecstatic that he was going to Hogwarts and that he would finally get to visit the real Diagon Alley and not the one in Universal Studios, couldn’t keep his joy and decided what the heck, and went all-out. With his muggle father. 

Muggles weren’t exactly allowed to witness magic, but Alex’s father had pulled some strings in the Ministry of Magic (thanks to a very lenient Minister) to allow his muggle husband to come to Diagon Alley. Alex and his father received some strange looks, but they didn’t care - they were in Diagon Alley - why would they? Both Alex and his father insisted on Ollivander’s, promised a broomstick when he was allowed to play Quidditch, a cute little pet, and the most evil-looking cauldron (Potions would become Alex’s favorite subject later on). Soon enough Alex had his wand: twelve inches of blackthorn and Dragon heartstring, quite sturdy and a brilFinnt, fashionable black. Alex was told that he’d need to share his sister’s owl until he was at least in his third year, to his disappointment and Juliette’s annoyance. 

Alex was happy and also embarrassed, because he’d always thought that the owl was simply an extremely abnormal taste of his fathers’ regarding pets. But now he knew that it was the sole method of correspondence that his parents received from their daughter while she was at Hogwarts, and now it would be the sole method of correspondence between his parents and him.

Before the designated day, Juliette and Alex spent time together, where Juliette, no matter what she was doing, proud that her little brother would be coming to school with her, answered any and all questions Alex had about school life at Hogwarts. She told him all about her friends, her teachers, her favorite subject (which was Herbology with Professor Longbottom), and all the exciting sorts of spells she learnt. His magical father put together a list of spells that Alex should memorize before going to school, that he should definitely use during daily life there. Things like ‘reparo’ and ‘lumos’ were a must, as was the famous ‘wingardium leviOsa,’ and later on, when it came down to it (though it was rarely ever used during this time of peace), ‘expecto patronum.’ Alex took the list to heart and memorized every single thing, every swish and every flick, every pronunciation, and pre-read all the textbooks until he was sure he could pretty much skip the first year.

On the designated day Alex and Juliette were dropped off at King’s Cross station, and he and his sister were walked to Platform 10. His muggle father couldn’t go with them, so he kissed his children goodbye and decided to wait by the car, because if he saw his children run into that wall he’d definitely have the urge to do it as well. Instead Mr. Vipond, the magical one, told Juliette to have a great time at Hogwarts, and that she write to him and her mother whenever possible. He kissed her goodbye as well, and after Juliette winked at Alex, she pushed her trolley and ran straight into the wall. Alex watched wide-eyed as his sister disappeared. Then his father gave him a pat on his back and stood right behind his son, hands on either side of the boy’s, holding the trolley tightly.

“You ready, little guy?”

Alex gulped and shook his head, but his father laughed maniacally and began to push the trolley, pulling Alex along with it. 

“Here we go!” 

Alex’s heart was nearly beating out of his chest, and he wanted to close his eyes in fear, but he wanted to experience every second, every breathing moment of his legend, because he was living it. He was living the books he grew up with, and it wasn’t a dream. Doom everything to hell and the world to its end if this was a dream. But it wasn’t, and with a whoosh as air rushed by and an extremely weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, Alex entered that famous wall at King’s Cross, and before he knew it he was in an entirely new world.

There were teenagers saying goodbye to their parents, saying hello to their friends, all sorts of animals: cats, toads, rats, owls, dogs on their carts, some getting onto the train, some getting off because they forgot something, and some freaking out because they realized they didn’t pack something. He looked around, mesmerized, because here he was, in the twenty-first century, and he was going to a magic school.

His father pat him on the head and smiling, told Alex that he’d load his stuff onto the baggage for him. Alex could only barely manage a nod. He simply stood there, mouth wide-open, taking it all in. This was the best day of his life, Alex thought. Nothing could beat him down. He was on an upward spiral, and he wasn’t dizzy at all.

“What are you, trying to eat a fly or something?” A voice said from behind him.

Alex temporarily snapped out of his stupor to close his gaping mouth and turn around to face the person who spoke. Alex saw golden brown hair that shimmered in the light of the station, and suddenly he felt so self-conscious about his own flaming red hair. A young boy who looked a little too smug for an eleven year-old, was standing there, trolley and all, all alone, hands shoved into his pockets and leaning on his cart. 

“The name’s Fionn Cavanagh.” he said, giving Alex a nod. Then he released his hands from his pockets, and pushed his cart to stand near Alex. “If you think you’re shocked, I have two ordinary parents.” 

He walked right past Alex, pushing his cart away towards the baggage. Alex’s father returned right as Finn left, and the man ruffled his son’s hair, smiling at him. Alex promptly forgot about the boy as nervousness began to creep into his stomach.

“You better get on that train before it leaves without you, kiddo.” his father said, and Alex nodded.

Father and son had a tearful goodbye, mostly tearful on Mr. Vipond’ part because Alex was far too excited to be crying. Alex promised to write, promised to have a letter ready to send home with Juliette’s own letter when she decided to send one. He promised to be a good student, not to make too much trouble, and not to stalk some of the professors and interrogate them about the books. He also promised not to go searching for the Mirror of Erised of the philosopher’s stone, and that the Triwizard tournament was definitely off-limits. After so many promises and so many kisses, Alex was finally sent to board the train. But until the train left the station, Alex poked his head out of the window of his carriage to wave goodbye to his father.

Alex sat quietly in his carriage, wondering what to do then, wondering how long it would take to get to Hogwarts, wondering whether he should look for his sister, then the compartment door slammed open and the boy with the golden hair strode in, slamming the door shut behind him. He sat right across Alex without asking if the compartment was free. 

“What’s your name?” he asked the moment he sat down.

“Alex Vipond.” Alex replied.

“Great. You can call me Finn. Fionn’s a mouthful.” Finn said, before slapping Alex on the back and breaking into conversation about how shocked he was when a strange man showed up on his doorstep telling him he was a wizard.

They chat all the way to Hogwarts. It seemed that Finn, no matter what the circumstances, planned to keep Alex as a friend. Finn wrote down Alex’s name in sharpie on his arm, asked Alex what house he wanted to be in, and Finn made Alex promise that no matter what houses they were in, Alex would never ignore Finn. Alex was kind of surprised, because nobody had actually been so forward with him before. But, he guessed, he could make an exception. It was kind of like how Harry met Ron. A twist of fate, but the two would end up best of friends. maybe Alex would be best friends with Finn. He hoped that they would end up in the same house. 

At one point Juliette poked her head into the compartment to say hello to Alex, ask him how his farewell with father was. She was introduced to Finn, who was flattered to meet such a beautiful woman (in his own words exactly), and she thanked him for his useless flattery. She dropped off a few sweets for her brother and returned to the compartment she shared with her friends. Then the chatting resumed. Alex asked his own questions, like what Finn was most excited for and things like that.

“Oh, the opening ceremony.” Finn said. “I’m sure it’ll be explosive.”

It was explosive, alright. 

It turned out that Fionn had brought fireworks into the school, spending most of his allowance on Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes as soon as he had been allowed some. He’d grabbed the firecrackers with custom-writing, and right the moment before Headmistress McGonagall announced the feast to start, he’d released them, and all around the great hall was his face, his name, and his signature, signaling the arrival of the ‘Great Wizard Fionn Cavanagh.’ It would’ve been fine, and Alex would probably have been pretty proud of making a friend so bold, if one of the firework didn’t spell out let’s be best friends, Alex Vipond. Juliette never allowed him to forget it, partly because her surname was being exploded out in lights as well. 

And it wasn’t just the first year.

The year after that on the first day of their second year Finn had somehow managed to sneak in skunks, and right before releasing them into the hall he’d yelled, THIS IS FOR YOU, ALEX MY BUDDY. The skunks weren’t just cute, their stench pretty much prevented people from even attempting to eat; at least until one of the professors managed to get all the skunks out of the great hall and filtered the stench into something significantly more pleasant.

On the first day of their third year Finn charmed the ceiling so that mini rainclouds descended onto everyone and whoever talked to Alex, would be rained on, and whoever talked to whoever was rained on would be rained on and etcetera etcetera until everyone in the entire hall was soaking wet. 

On the first day of their fourth year Finn had sneaked into the kitchens while the sorting was happening and had spiked some of the food with a potion that caused the people who ate it to turn into mini-Lynxes (Alex’s patronus form). Which was pretty cool, except for the fact that Alex’s second-hand embarrassment was causing him so much pain he began to dramatize his own death and the two boys’ friend Valentina, who was in Ravenclaw with Alex, had to punch him in the face to get him to stop. 

Then, on the first day of their fifth year when the feast started Finn jumped up onto the table and yelled “FOOD FIGHT!” and promptly bewitched all the food to start flying at each other. It only ended when Headmistress McGonagall received a pumpkin pie flat in her face. Students gasped all around and Finn felt as if he was going to be hanged, but then the headmistress immediately charmed some tomato soup to dump itself all over Finn, and when Finn burst out laughing with all the students, the teachers sighed and began the cleanup, effectively ridding any and all students of worries of stains. 

The teachers knew that Alex didn’t have anything to do with the pranks, but still, Finn’s pranks every year were becoming so popular, and Alex would be more condoning of his friend if he just, just, just please left him out of them. 

Which brought Alex to the near-present, where Alex stood at Platform 9 and 3/4, nervously scanning the crowd for any signs of golden hair or seeping auras of overconfidence. His sister had made it a ritual to disappear as soon as they reached Platform 9 and 3/4, partly (and mostly) because she didn’t want to have any relation with him when the pranks began. So as usual, she was already gone, with promises to come see him later probably on the second day of school. Alex never followed her, and allowed her to escape the second-hand embarrassment. She was probably with her group of friends by now.

"Behind ya." A voice whispered straight into his ear.

Alex jumped thirty meters into the air and landed back on the ground, and on instinct pulled his wand out and pointed at the origin of the sound. First day back at Hogwarts was always highly nerve-wracking, especially for Alex Vipond. He had been harassed by so many people asking him what Finn’s newest prank would be, and by teachers asking him what Finn’s newest prank would be, and Alex never had an answer because he didn’t freaking know.

"Put that thing away. It's making me embarrassed to be seen with you in public." Finn said with a sly smirk.

He had both hands in his pocket, just like during their first meeting, all his belongings messily stacked on his cart and a basketball bag slung lazily on his shoulder. An owl hooted at Alex from a cage on the cart. Alex groaned and shoved his wand back into his bag. 

"Speak for yourself, Finn."

Ah, yes. The source of Alex's discomfort. Fionn Cavanagh, self-proclaimed genius Casanova and wannabe future minister of magic. Alex ignored Finn's greeting-bro-fist and ran into the wall, entering Platform 9 and 3/4. The Hogwarts Express was as beautiful as ever, and the platform was bustling with students of all ages, and parents doing last-minute checks on luggage. Everywhere tearful farewells and joyful reunions could be heard as parents finally lost their iron grip on their children and said children were reunited with their friends. Ah, what a beautiful sight it was. Freedom.

Alex sighed when he heard Finn catch up to him. Both teenagers rolled their carts over to the wizard who was helping all the students load their luggage. When their luggage was loaded, the two walked towards the entrance of the train. Alex remembered something, and in loyalty to his friend, he stopped short of entering the train.

"I can't sit with you and the others today." Alex said, turning around to face his friend.

"I know. You and Minna sit with the other prefects." Finn grinned.

Alex muttered an okay, and because Finn was being so sincere in his friendship with Alex, Alex almost felt bad about ignoring Finn, but Finn high-fived a passing student who told Finn that she and her third-year friends were looking forward to what Finn had in store, and Finn chuckled and assured her that it would be amazing. Then Finn offered a high five to send Alex off, and Alex refused it. After the second year and the skunk fiasco Alex had made it his ritual to avoid as much interaction with Finn as possible on the first day of school in order to reduce the number of harassment he received from whatever prank Finn had planned that year.

"Come on, don't leave me hanging here, dammit!" Finn pouted.

Alex briskly walked towards the train, ignoring Finn. He heaved himself up into the train, and Finn followed closely behind. Finn’s hand was still raised, eagerly hoping that Alex would return it. However, the Ravenclaw prefect continued to ignore Fionn's request for a high five. Alex didn’t want to be associated with Finn. He didn’t want to be seen with Finn. Finn was not his friend. In fact...

“I don’t know who you are for a day." Alex said, abruptly turning around to face Finn.

Finn nearly bumped into Alex, though he managed to stop in time, his eyes widening accordingly. Then he pouted. His hand, which had finally given up after being left hanging for so long, caved inwards so that Finn could cross his arms. 

"That's just cold, bro." Finn said. “You're going to ditch me on one of the days I look forward to the most?" 

Alex could hear the pleading in Finn's voice now, but he ignored it along with the headache slowly forming. Other people might lose to Finn's puppy eyes and begging, but not him. He would be strong. Alex Vipond is strong enough to resist Finn’s pleading. That’s all he told himself as he tried to convince himself that ignoring Fionn Cavanagh for just one day was fine. 

“The day you look forward to the most is exactly the reason I don't want to be associated with you." Alex said, backing away from Finn and his incredibly convincing pouty face. "Find Valentina and stay with her." 

And before Finn could say anything more Alex ran away at full speed, leaving Finn standing awkwardly in a compartment that Alex managed to lead Finn into before bolting off. He then rushed towards the prefect compartment, speed-walking, where his sister and her friends greeted him. 

“Hey lil’ bro.” Juliette said.

The train ride was surprisingly uneventful. Alex was constantly on edge though, expecting something to happen. He continuously voiced his concerns to his friend and fellow prefect Minna, who agreed with him in his worries but was also growing tired of Alex's constant muttering, a headache of her own forming.

"No explosions...too quiet...what is he thinking?" Alex mumbled under his breath, and Minna wasn’t sure whether Alex was unhappy that it was too quiet, or was uneasy because he wanted something to happen. 

“Finn doesn’t do anything before the feast, remember?” she gently reminded him, but he turned to look at her and she immediately quietened down, because he gave her such a look of complete agony that she was sure wasn’t possible to appear on a reasonably content teenager like him.

They arrived at Hogwarts with no incidents other than a stray hoard of Pygmy puffs suddenly getting loose on the train, which resulted in nothing other than cooing girls and boys trying to make bets on which prefect could catch the most puffs (Nico, Gryffindor head boy, won by Accio-ing them all into his hat, which also won him all the girls cooing). Alex had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that spelled IT’S FIONN HE RELEASED THOSE PUFFS ON THE TRAIN but his sister wouldn’t believe him and Minna told him to stop being so paranoid about Finn. What would happen would happen, and Finn was not known to cause too much of a fuss before the 'main event.'

When the train arrived and the students were getting onto the carriages that would take them to Hogwarts, Alex was sitting very comfortably on a carriage with Minna and was just about prepared to take off, when, with extremely amazing dexterity and speed Finn and Valentina threw themselves onto the carriage before it could move. Alex gave Finn a look of complete despair, but said hello to Valentina, who he hasn’t had the chance to greet yet on accounts of him trying to avoid Finn as much as possible, when she kicked him. 

"Hey, Valentina." He said to the bubblegum-chewing girl sitting opposite him.

"Sup, Alex." She replied, crossing her legs and arms as she smiled at Alex’s pained face in being such close proximity to Finn.

As soon as the carriages stopped Alex ran off once again, Minna reluctantly on his heels, and Valentina amused at the face of utter dejection that Finn sported after seeing his best friend run away from him. 

"Am I that bad?" Finn asked Valentina, who shrugged.

"He just suffers from extreme second-hand embarrassment." She blew a bubble which popped.

They then entered the great hall, where, as usual, a grand display was set up. All the students headed towards their house tables, and Alex was glad because thank goodness Finn wasn’t in the same house as him. Alex’s heart was beating loudly, and it was beating slowly louder and louder by the second that he was sitting still and nothing was happening yet. Headmistress McGonagall was sitting in the middle of the tables up in front, watching proudly as the first-year students entered. She and the teachers beside her were apprehensive. They were prepared for Finn this year.

“Stay alert..." The headmistress solemnly whispered to her teachers when the sorting started.

They nodded.

After the first year the teachers had set up anti-explosive charms in the Great Hall. After the second, they had banned all animals in the Great Hall on the first day of school, and after the third, they had casted protective charms around the charms on the ceiling so that no other charms could interfere with the ones already in place. After the fourth the teachers had made plans to constantly keep an eye on Finn so that they’d know if he left to do something, and they’d double, triple-checked the food for anything shady added. Then after the fifth, they’d just put charms on the food so that nobody could charm it. 

Some teachers who could not tolerate things like these complained to Professor McGonagall and insisted that Fionn Cavanagh be banned from the feast on the first day, and they’d even pulled Finn aside to talk to him about what to do with him, but he’d simply accepted all detentions he may have, and explained that even if they banned him from the first day of school, whatever was the first day he attended school would be considered his first day of school and therefore, they’d never be free of a planned prank. The teachers had relented. Professor McGonagall, who’d been extremely irritated with the clean-up after the pranks, eventually accepted them, since they reminded her of students she’d taught in the past. Some teachers welcomed the pranks with open arms. When Alex voiced his discomfort to said teachers about letting Finn go through with his pranks, they'd lectured Alex about youth and how nice it was to have such a good friend to embarrass him in public. 

 

At present Alex was, however, trembling in his seat. Across from his sitting place on the Ravenclaw table he could see Finn sitting, chatting with a few half-blood Slytherins at his own table. Alex leaned over to Valentina and whispered for help, but she merely rolled her eyes and ignored him. It was at times like these that Alex wished Valentina was a bit more compassionate than not. He then decided that his next best bet was to ‘telepathically’ send eye signals of SOS to Professor McGonagall, but she had her eyes fixed on Finn.

"Maybe he won't do anything this year.” Manna Kim, Minna’s little brother, leaned over to say.

Then he laughed. 

"Who am I kidding? This is Finn we're talking about.”

Alex couldn’t laugh. He couldn’t even bring himself to roll his eyes at the third-year humor. He couldn’t even force his heart to feel a little hate for the brat of a brother that Minna has. He had no emotions. He felt nothing. He sensed nothing. He could be nothing. There was no future for him at Hogwarts as long as Fionn Cavanagh was his friend. 

"Please don't mention me..." Alex began to pray. 

He didn’t even bother to hope that Finn wouldnt ’t anything. It’s far too late for that. Finn had something elaborately planned, he knew. He could feel it in his gut. He could feel it in his gut ever since the fireworks went off five years ago. All he could do was pray that he wouldn’t have too big of a part in it. Alex would find the pranks more bearable if he wasn't the centrepiece of it all the time. Alex's eyes met with Finn's and the Slytherin boy gave him a gigantic grin. A shiver ran down Alex’ spine. He was afraid. 

The sorting proceeded smoothly, and Headmistress McGonagall's speech was done as well. The sorting hat's song was as always, sung, and students were getting both confused and excited. The first-years felt weird at the apprehensive aura the older students were giving off. They could feel anticipation, that something was about to happen. Several students were staring at Finn, watching him. They wondered what was going to happen this year, and the teachers' hands slowly inched towards their wands. A grin appeared on Finn’s face and it only grew wider every second. Alex's heart sank, and it sank deeper and deeper into the deep abyss that was now his soul.

Then headmistress McGonagall stood up to announce the feast.

"And now, let the feast-“ She paused for dramatic effect when-

"Be. 

 

Our. 

 

Guest!

 

Be our guest! Put our service to the test."

The plates, cups, and cutlery all stood up and began moving, bouncing up and down. A song that only muggle-borns and a few half-bloods could recognize boomed all around the hall, and the students cheered in excitement as they realized what was happening. Actual. Real. Life. Beauty and the Beast. Beauty and the Beast IRL. Alex’s face flushed. He knows this song. His fathers knows this song. Nick Pitera sang this song magnificently in a youtube video. Valentina sitting right next to him was having so much fun because man, she’s a muggle born and this is more than she could’ve ever wanted. Minna sitting at the Hufflepuff table doesn’t know the song, but it didn’t matter what song it is to Alex, Minna, Valentina and Headmistress McGonagall, because now the cutlery are moving towards them and spiralling around them. The forks and spoons and knives and cups and plates bounced in a circular motion all around them, and the other students cheered and sang along.

 

It is at this moment where Alex’s small interaction with Fionn happens and Alex begins to suspect that Finn has him all figured out because Beauty and the Beast happens to be Alex’s favorite Disney movie despite the fact that Alex tells everyone it’s Lion King. 

Valentina giggles as she gives Finn a thumbs up, Minna simply sits in silence, a small smile forming on her lips and waits for it to be over while her brat of a brother laughs at her from across tables, and headmistress McGonagall is flustered because how can Finn be doing such advanced charms when he fails so badly at the subject that his parents had to be called about it?

"Tie your napkin 'round your neck, Alex (Minna, Valentina, Professor) and we'll provide the rest." 

The song continues and Alex can feel himself about to explode from embarrassment. Alex would rather take the fireworks any day now. Singing cutlery is still too much of a high-level prank for him. Alex manages to glare at Finn, who has his hands up and waving and he is pretending to be an orchestra conductor. The first-years are watching, confused, while the older students and some of the teachers are clapping along to the song, laughing at the fiasco and at the teachers' expressions. Professor McGonagall doesn’t even try to tell her teachers to stop this mess immediately, because a muggle-born teacher is singing along and the muggle studies teacher looks like he’s having the time of his life because again, it’s Beauty and the Beast IRL (and the muggle studies teacher has done extensive research into Disney movies). 

"Please be our guest!" 

The song finally finishes with an extremely long note and a dramatic flair and the cutlery have returned to where they previously were. Headmistress McGonagall looks both slightly shaken up and highly impressed, while Valentina is smiling and there is now an outward grin on Minna's face too. Alex has given up on everything. He regrets everything. He can hear his sister's giggling from the other end of the hall. He sees her high-five Fionn. He can feel the looks of his other friends on him. He hates Fionn. He will kill Fionn Cavanagh. 

“And now, finally, -she sighs- let the feast begin." Professor McGonagall finally says, and the food appears.

The students cheer more loudly than ever, and they dig into the food. Alex can barely find the strength within himself to pick up his fork when on the handle he finds something engraved: You’ll always be my guest, Alex. Alex doesn’t know whether Finn is asking him out or he’s trying to be cheesy and relate everything to the song, but he looks to his right and Valentina shows him that her fork has a similar engraving. Alex feels a small smile appearing on his face. Finn is a goddamned idiot, and he obviously has some attention-seeking issues, but Alex guesses he can allow just one day a year for embarrassment. After all, Alex is a Ravenclaw, and he’s pretty sure he can come up with better ideas than real-life Beauty and the Beast as revenge. 

He meets eyes with Finn, who winks at him, and Alex sighs and shakes his head. But he does allow himself to show Finn a smile, and Finn’s face lights up in response. But inside, Alex is plotting. Definitely, revenge. Possibly something to do with building snowmen and ice monsters that continuously chased Fionn freaking Cavanagh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if this has been said before but w/e
> 
> Just take a moment to imagine Muggleborn/Halfblood students at Hogwarts enchanting the school’s utensils, plates, etc so when Dumbledore is going to give his usual announcement/speech all the utensils suddendly come to life and start singing really loudly “Be our Guest” to him.
> 
> -http://mafuuyu.tumblr.com/post/88048790931/i-dont-know-if-this-has-been-said-before-but
> 
> Next: And the pet discussion (or how Tobias couldn't stop speaking doge for several weeks)


	2. And the pet discussion (or how Tobias couldn't stop speaking doge for several weeks)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> doge.

Tobias Franco, pureblood Slytherin, perfectionist, and self-proclaimed Muggle culture expert, is simply minding his own business while on his rounds, talking to one of the lonelier portraits on the fifth-floor staircase. When Tobias informed his uncle proudly that he had been chosen as fifth-year prefect for Slytherin house, his uncle had advised Tobias to try and make friends with as many portraits as possible, and during rounds, talk to and entertain the portraits who were awake. They were more likely to help you, whether with prefect duty or with homework or whatever, when they liked you, he had said. Tobias took that advice to heart immediately because man, his uncle, he respects his uncle immensely, even though said uncle is only two years older than him. 

He’s assuring the extremely sophisticated portrait that his day was good and explains the prank that fellow Slytherin Fionn Cavanagh set up on the first day of school, when he hears suspicious shuffling nearby in the connecting corridor. It’s way past curfew, and any suspicious shuffling was detention-worthy shuffling. And as much as some students tells him that he takes his prefect way too seriously considering his laid-back personality, he has an uncle to please and an uncle to look up to, and he can’t help the fact that there are butterflies in his stomach in anticipation of finding some ill-meaning student out in the corridors trying to steal food from the kitchens. 

He says goodbye and explains his reason for leaving to the lady in the portrait who curtsies graciously, wishing him a good night, and then he walks towards the source of the noise. He takes out his wand, and holds it carefully, because he’s accidentally stunned a teacher before (a fact that Finn never lets him forget), and sometimes the miscreants stunned him. With his heart beating out of his chest in anticipation, he turns the corner and his mouth drops in surprise and he chokes on his spit.

“Tasha? What in the name of all that is holy are you doing?” he nearly shouts, catching himself in the middle and forcing a whisper lest he wake all the other portraits.

Right before his eyes is Natasya Evgeniy, crouching on the ground, wand in between her teeth, shoving what looks like a moving, squirming thing into a duffel bag. She stares wide-eyed at Tobias, pausing her actions. They remain silent and unmoving for a moment, merely staring at each other, and when the dog squirms again she quickly shoves the dog into the bag with one last push, ties the bag and jumps up, wand still between her teeth, and drags Tobias and the bag away from the corridor into an empty, thankfully open, classroom.

"What do you want, Toby?" She asks, dropping the duffel bag onto the ground and holding her wand back in her hands, crossing her arms, a little annoyed that Tobias Franco would yell so loudly in the corridor when it was so obviously late at night and she’s technically not supposed to be caught.

She turns to face him, but then realizes that with the darkness of the classroom she would not be able to hold a proper conversation with the boy because she can’t even see him properly. She holds her wand tightly and whispers, "Lumos." Light flows out of her wand and she can see properly. Both Natasya and Tobias notices that they’re in the muggle studies classroom, and feels a little uneasy, because the muggle studies teacher enjoys the pranks that Finn sets up, and has his own pranks set up in the classroom, leaving the classroom open and unlocked on purpose for any unsuspecting students to walk into and be pranked. 

Tobias wants to reply her, and he also wants to give her detention, but he is inherently confused by Natasya's annoyed tone of voice. Logically it should be him with the annoyed tone; student out in the corridors past curfew and dragged into the muggle studies classroom, but her confident posture, annoyed face and extremely miffed tone of voice makes him forget for just a moment that he is the prefect and she is the delinquent in this situation. He shakes his head to clear it and reassume his position.

"You were shoving something into a bag." Tobias says pointedly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and it kind of is, because again, it’s Natasya roaming out after hours and whatever she’s doing is probably illegal because who shoves moving things into duffel bags?

Natasya continues to stare at him, one eyebrow raised, not quite sure what he’s getting at, and Tobias is pretty sure she’s doing that on purpose, trying to make Tobias confused enough to forget about the entire thing. And it’s at this moment that Tobias groans inwardly, because he knows that she has him wrapped around her finger, not to mention her freaking brother is best friends with his loved, respected, uncle.

"Yes. I was. What's the problem?" Her annoyed tone of voice continues, and Tobias almost just let it go because she is so convincing that there is nothing wrong, but he remembers that she has him wrapped around her finger and Finn makes fun of it all the time.

He chants to himself inside his head ‘I am the prefect,’ ‘I am the prefect,’ and assumed his superior position again.

"It was moving." Tobias enunciates.

Natasya sighs, and this time she lets down her guard because she knows she’s lost the power play and she can’t get out of this one without an explanation. She then hands her wand to Tobias who takes it on instinct, (and he smacks himself inwardly for that) reaches for the bag and pulls out whatever is inside it. Tobias looks at it and then looks at Natasya.

"It's a dog." He says.

"Yeah, it's a Shiba Inu." She replies.

Tobias stares at her blankly, and Natasya stares back and they continue staring in awkward silence. The dog is staring at both of them from in between them, oddly quiet, and Natasya's eyes widen.

"You don't know what a Shiba Inu is?" She asks, mirth in her voice.

Tobias fidgets and looks uncomfortable, like the last thing he wants to do is to discuss dog breeds. And the last thing he wants to do is to discuss dog breeds. He’s avoiding meeting her eyes, but when he finally does, he regrets it, because he can see the amusement in her face, and he seriously is worth more than just amusement to Natasya Evgeniy.

"The great, pureblood Slytherin of the Archibald lineage and self-proclaimed muggle culture expert doesn't know what a Shiba Inu is?!" Natasya outright giggles, and Tobias rolls his eyes.

"Shut up, Tasha. It’s a dog breed, obviously." He mumbles, and he knows that now, officially, he’s lost this one. 

He now prays that Natasya doesn’t talk about this to Fionn, because he knows that Finn would probably spend the rest of the term reciting dog breeds until Tobias goes crazy. Natasya is about to open her mouth to tell Tobias that yes, she’s going to tell Fionn about this one, but then bursts out into a fit of giggles again not because Tobias doesn’t know what a Shiba Inu is, but because Tobias is so embarrassed about not knowing what a Shiba Inu is even though it’s perfectly fine to not know. 

"Wow."

Natasya immediately stops giggling and looks at Tobias with a serious face that’s slowly turning into a worried face.

"Shit, it's woken up." She says, slowly looking down at the dog, worried face now turning into a face filled with fear.

It stares back up at the two of them and though Tobias doesn’t see what’s wrong, because he wasn’t paying attention to the dog before and now he is, and Natasya looks like she saw a ghost.

"Much funny." The dog says.

Then Tobias’s eyes widen. "The dog talked. Did the dog just talk?" Tobias asks, panic creeping into his voice.

"Shut up, Tobes, you'll only encourage it more." She smacks Tobias's arm.

Natasya starts becoming very restless, as if she wants to simply dump the dog into Tobias’s arms and run away, or she wants to throw it out the window or something. Tobias’s not any better because he doesn’t know why, but the talking dog is really, really creepy, and Natasya’s restlessness is making him feel restless as well.

“Much classroom." It says. “Very smell."

Natasya gives out a cry of disgust and shoves the dog back into the bag. She massages her temples and flinches when the dog says, once again, "Wow. Such small."

"A silencing spell. Use a silencing spell.” Tobias urges Natasya without knowing why, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her violently.

She has to kick him to get him to stop shaking her, and when he finally releases her, in her panic and confusion Natasya can’t even remember a simple silencing spell. So she settles for a simple-

"I don't know, don't tell me, you're the know-it-all." she says, to which Tobias gives her an offended look.

Then he finally realizes that he has absolutely no reason to be so flustered about a talking Shiba Inu and calms down. He isn’t prefect for nothing, so he rummages through his brain for every spell he’s learnt before shoving Natasya’s wand back into her hand, and points his own wand at the duffel bag.

“Silencio.” Tobias says, and the two teenagers hold their breaths as they wait to see the results of the silencing spell.

“Wow.” the dog says again after a while, and the two groan, Natasya pulling at her hair.

She slings the bag over her shoulder and stalks out of the classroom, leaving Tobias to follow right after her. She is walking towards the general direction of the Gryffindor dormitory, so Arivn assumes she’s going to go back to the dorms. He makes a mental note that even Natasya Evgeniy has to get detention, and offers to carry the bag for her, to which she gratefully accepts, happy to be rid of the dog.

"Why is the dog talking, and why does it have such terrible grammar?" Tobias asks Natasya with a serious face after a particularly violent twitch from the duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

She groans again, stopping for a bit just to glare at a portrait that is telling her to walk quietly and not stomp everywhere.

"My freaking brother Klaus. He asked me to lend him Druri’s dog for a while, saying that he wanted to try out a talking spell. Instead he charmed it to speak in Doge, and I have to find a way to reverse it before Druri finds out I let Klaus charm her dog into speaking Doge!" Natasya says, voice rising and rising until at the end of her sentence she is yelling.

About every single portrait in the corridor shushes her, and this time it actually is her fault so she apologizes and then sighs. They reach the dormitory about then, so after Natasya gives the Fat Lady the password, she takes the duffel bag from Tobias.

"What the hell is Doge?!" Tobias whispers loudly at her before Natasya enters the dorm.

“You can’t possibly call yourself a muggle-culture expert if you don’t even know what Doge is. Good night." She says, saluting the prefect as she turns away.

Before she can completely disappear he whisper-shouts at her that she still has detention, and she yells a curse back at him. Tobias returns to his rounds after a little while more, and because he’s still confused and a little embarrassed about not knowing what Doge is, breaks into the Sixth-year dorm rooms and wakes Fionn up, drags him to the Common Room and forces the sleepy muggle-born to explain to him what Doge is. Fionn is annoyed that Toby woke him up just to explain that, but Finn does his best to teach the magic that is Doge to Toby, and the Tobes can finally understand why the heck the Shiba Inu speaks in such, such, terrible grammar. Tobias is also amazed that none of the pranks in the muggle studies classroom activated, though he suspects Natasya had something to do with it.

Then, and only then, can Tobias have a good night's rest. But nothing could have prepared him for the events in the morning, when all the sleepy students were yawning while munching on their morning energizers in the breakfast hall. Tobias wonders where Finn is because Finn is nowhere to be found, and the hall is relatively quiet, but when all the owls swooped down to give the students their mail, the hall isn’t so quiet anymore.

“Wow."

"Such mail."

"Much letter."

"Such considerate."

"Much heavy."

"Wow."

"Very present."

All, and exactly all the owls were speaking in Doge, and Tobias notices that all the muggleborns and a few half-bloods are rolling on their seats laughing their asses off, while the purebloods and the remaining half-bloods are sitting confused, wondering what in the world is going on and why the owls has such bad grammar, much less talking. Tobias feels proud because he’s about the only pureblood who knows what’s going on (other than his uncle on the Gryffindor table who is also laughing his ass off).

A commotion draws Tobias's attention to the doors and he looks to see professor McGonagall dragging Finn in by the ears and lecturing him -oh, so that’s where Finn went-, demanding that the owls be returned to normal, while Finn is protesting the accusation.

"It wasn't me this time Professor, I swear!” he begs the professor to release his ears, while the professor threatens to turn them into elephant ears.

"Then who was it?" The professor yells.

Tobias's eyebrow twitches. Natasya slides into the empty seat next to him at the Slytherin table and steals a cream-cheese bagel from his plate.

"Klaus?" Tobias asks, still watching Finn and the professor.

"Klaus." Natasya replies, biting into the bagel.

Tobias turns his gaze towards the Ravenclaw table to search for black hair and black eyes, and finds the owner. He watches as his uncle Niko shuffles over to Klaus' table and the two best friends high five each other as they watch Finn continue to be berated by professor McGonagall.

"So the dog from yesterday..." Tobias begins. "Was it a-"

"Test." Natasya finishes, still munching on the bagel, not even turning around to look at her brother or at Finn, trying to ignore the owls as much as she can.

Tobias nods, and then finally turns back to his breakfast. Then, as a way of accepting that his friends are absolutely crazy, and accordingly, so is his life, he takes a bite of his egg and says,

"Wow. Much yummy."

Natasya groans and dropped her head onto the table, narrowly missing some pudding. Some Slytherins look at her in worry, but Tobias simply continues chewing, as Finn’s screams of pain and protest ring out throughout the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COULD YOU IMAGINE A MUGGLEBORN BRINGING A CHIBI DOG TO HOGWARTS AS THEIR PET AND CHARMING IT SO IT SPOKE IN DOGE WHENEVER IT OPENS ITS MOUTH
> 
> ALL THE PURES AND HALFBLOODS WOULD BE SO CONFUSED AT ALL THE MUGGLEBORNS LAUGHING AT A DOG SAYING “WOW” AND “VERY (THING) MUCH (THING)” AT EVERYTHING
> 
>  
> 
> -http://actualskeletor.tumblr.com/post/87870004671/could-you-imagine-a-muggleborn-bringing-a-chibi
> 
> Next: 3. And Manna discovers the Room of Requirements (or the time Fionn couldn't look Klaus in the eyes for a week after that)


End file.
